Midnight in the Dining Room of the Happy Slouvaki (01/01) Written by Melissa and Felicia, Vaqs, with lots of help from Cindy of the FoD. Time: Very late/very early July 9/10 2001 Place: The Church of the Vaqueras The Happy Slouvaki Everyone used with permission. ++++++++++++++ Melissa walked into the main room of the Church followed by 2 of the Elvi, each was lunging a heavy cardboard carton. "Set them over on the table, please" she instructed the 'Kings of Rock and Roll'. "Whatcha ya got there" chorused several of the lounging Vaqueras. "Shaving Cream" she replied with a wink. Jiggling the paper bag in her hand "and can openers." Turning to the Chief War Monger she asked "Is there any room in the freezer"?. A couple of dozen eyebrows shot up at her odd request. +++++++++++++++++++++++ Later "I've been thinking" Emma stated to the room at large "about that pink rat we found in the tail pipe." "What about it?" Mary asked plopping down on the couch "It was out of place." "How so?" "I guess mainly because it was hidden. The rest of the attack was pretty obvious. . food spread all over and evidence of attackers left behind. And we all agreed that the FoDs really have no reason to attack." Several Vaqs nodded in unison. So the question is: Where in Toronto could a person get a hold of a dead glowing pink rat? "CERK," they all shouted at once. Felicia pulled out her cell saying that she was going to give Cindy of the FOD a call. +++++++++++++++++++++++ Later that dark and stormy night. . .( well not really but I've always wanted to write that ;-)) The area around the Happy Slouvaki Deli was silent as Vaqueras and a handful of Elvi converged on it from 4 directions, each was armed with a black canvas bag and a can opener. Melissa quickly picked the lock on the establishment's door. "Where'd you learn to do that?" "You've heard necessity is the Mother of Invention?" the Vaqs nodded "well its also the Mother of Frustrated Mothers-of-9-year-old-Diva-Wannabes-who-lock-themselves-in-bathrooms." "Why are we breaking in," Angel asked. "I thought Cindy and the rest would be meeting us here." "I've just always wanted to, I guess," Melissa answered sheepishly. "Besides, I'm not sure I trust them." "Not trust Schanke's folks, come on!" Felicia and Teresita laughed, and they led the rest of the Vaqueras inside. The Elvi looked at each other, and shrugged, following the women into the establishment. They walked about three steps when a voice said, "Bon soir. Vaqueras, right? Cindy told me you'd be coming--only she didn't tell me that *they'd* be coming," he said, pointing to the Elvis Brigade. The women froze, and turned to face a man that *looked* like Don Schanke. "Since when does he speak French," Emma asked. "It's my native tongue," the man said, looking slightly confused. "Oh, right. Sorry. You guys didn't know that I'm really. . ." "Nick," the Vaqueras chourused. He nodded, just as Cindy, Spiff, Ron, Kathy, Senara, and Leah came through the already- opened door. "Hi, guys," Cindy said. "Make yourselves at home. "I think we did," Tabitha smiled, playfully cuffing Melissa's shoulder. "Hope you don't mind them," she indicated the group of satin-jumpsuit wearing men. "Naw. Mi casa es su casa." "So, what's all this about a pink rat," Ron asked. The two factions sat down, and discussed the goings-on of the night in question. The FoD accounted for their whereabouts at the approximate time of the dastardly deed. Even a couple of clones were helpful, as they'd had to give up singing 'Love me Tender' to come and get the Vaqueras. Nick-in-Schanke was especially helpful, as this sort of work was right up his alley. "I'd say it was the Cousins," he told them, confirming Emma's earlier suspicions. "Uh-huh." "Yup." "Wonderful. What do we do now," Senara asked. They put their heads together and discussed the possibilities. "Is that shaving cream," Leah asked, pointing to one of the bags that had come undone. "Yes, it is," Melissa said proudly. "Oh," was all Leah could think of. "Glad we worked out that it wasn't us," Spiff put in. "No kidding." "Well, then," Felicia said. "Let's get this *other matter* taken care of, shall we?" "Yup. We'll make final plans tomorrow, okay?" "Sounds good. Y'all have a good night, now," she told the FoDs as she followed her faction out. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a man who looked very familiar--very like the bass player from Melissa's t-shirt. He shoved his glasses up his nose, and lifted his bangs. That was all the proof Felicia needed. "Melissa," she hissed. "Come here." "O-kay," the Vaquera said to her faction leader. "What now?" Felicia pointed. "That." "Don't point," Melissa said. "Well it's not as if *he* is gonna see us from there," Felicia said. "He's half-blind! Why do you think he keeps falling off of stages!" "Right. Good point. Shall we?" "After you." The women approached the bass player. "Hello," Melissa said pleasantly. He looked at them questioningly for a moment, and she continued. "We know you, um, but we can't say your name." "War rules," Felicia put in quickly. "Right. Anyway, we think you're underrated." "You do, eh?" "Uh-huh. I loved 'Goodbye,' actually. It's my favorite new ballad." His eyebrows shot up. "Is it really? Well, thanks." Melissa beamed. "Well," Felicia told him, "I always liked 'Me and My Wine,' however inappropriate it may be." He laughed and nodded. "I'm fond of it, too." "I don't suppose y'all will ever play it live," she saw the look on his face and frowned, "no, I didn't think so." "Well, ladies, I must go, I've got an interview. It was nice to meet you." "You, too," they chorused to his retreating back. "What kind of interview could he have at half-passed midnight?" Felicia shook her head. "Rock stars," she said. end