The Adventures of Nick Slacker: Biker Private Eye (01/03?) Date/Time: right after sunset, Sunday evening, after "Oh, No. Not Again." And "Revenge is a Dish Best Served with Cookies (01/01)" Place: The Loft by Knightie Brooksie No motor vehicles were harmed in this post _______________________________________ SCENE: Interior of the Loft, Film Noir Style: Several Knightie lurkers are spread throughout its expanse, looking distracted and busy. A lone man stands in the center of all this womanhood, but he has eyes for only one. He sidles seductively up to the object of his desire. VOICEOVER (Slacker): "She was a beautiful bike - a Triumph. Chromed out and squeaky clean. And as far as anyone in this Loft of Solitude could remember, she had not been run in six, or was it eight, years. And that was a terrible crime. It looked like Nick Slacker, Biker Private Eye, had arrived just in time. You just can't let a fine machine like this one, a Knightrider special, sit there and gather dust. Nothin' and I mean *noth-thin*, can compare to this bike." [blink blink] VOICEOVER: (Slacker) "But there was trouble here in the Loftiness. It had been attacked by the crew that ran with the ME, the Natpackers. They had fingered the Knighties' boss' wheels, an angsty green 1962 Cadillac ragtop. It must have been the sexy fins that attracted them, it sure couldn't have been the color. "I feel sorry for these Knighties, with their heads buried in their books looking for klews, their salted corners, multi-colored candles and red sweaters to ward off the Big Evil One." BEAT "Well maybe not the red sweaters." [Slacker looks around the Loft once again, at the red sweaters. He even manages to notice that some of the Knighties are wringing their hands with guilt and angst.] VOICEOVER: (Slacker) "But their Faraday Shield didn't even protect them. And where is their Knight - this G- er, Nicholas in shining l'armour? He's not even here. He slipped away as fast as an ice cube running down Spadina on a hot day in July. But I can find him. And she can help me." [Slacker runs his hands from the handlebars down the leather seat of the black and chrome Triumph, all the way to her taillight.] VOICEOVER: (Slacker) "I need to feel the road beneath her wheels and the wind through my hair. But I also need leathers. Where can I get leathers to fit these long legs?" [Slacker blinks a few times, and turns to ask the nearest of Knight's groupies.] SLACKER: "Hey. Where does Knight stash his clothes?" <> SLACKER: "Because I can!" [blink blink] <<"Huh?" the Knightie says. Looking down the stairs at the first Knightie lurker, the second one asks, "What's up with Nick?" The first lurker just shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know. He looks kind of spaced out to me.">> SCENE: Second floor loft bedroom. Nick Slacker is in the walk-in closet examining the clothes hanging there. VOICEOVER: (Slacker) "This Knight boss must be rolling in dough. Designer labels all over these threads. Well, rich men can live a life of ease. But us Biker P.I.s are men of action. We need threads that protect us, and coddle us just like our mommies did. <> VOICEOVER: (Slacker) "I'm talking about leather. From head to toe. Swathed in it. Draped in it." [Slacker finds what he is looking for.] VOICEOVER: (Slacker) "Ah-ha. I've hit the mother-lode. This is what I am talking about. Rock star tight black leather pants. Black leather jackets and duster coats. Some sensible black boots. [?] And something to drive the chicks wild. A white poets shirt, open down to the waist. I'm on a mission tonight, baby. I have to find this Knight-man and return him to his faction before we are all lost forever. But first I have to get that Triumph running." <> **** END Part One *****