The Pain Of  Very Bad Fan Fiction
By Knightie Katrinka
Time: early monday morning
Bad fanfic snippets taken from the Knightie leaders own warped mind.
The writer does not mean to insult any fanfiction writer!

Katrinka was enduring a torture worse then any other torture she had ever
endured. She had lived through a broken elbow-piece of cake. Brain tumor-no
problemo. Even the pain of having a misdiagnosed broken ankle and
childbirth paled to the pain she was now living through.

"Daddy, tell me again, how mommy killed LaCross and healed you?" The young
child asked Nick Knight.

"I was working on a case when I met your mommy." Nick explained to the
child. She was only in sixth grade but I knew it was love."

"Yes, Darling." Wendy J. Fanfiction said-only twenty-two, she was the most
beautiful woman in Canada.


"ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" the Knightie leader yelled, before
shutting the zine.

Very cautiously the woman opened the next fanzine. "'Vampires in Love"
can't be that bad." She told herself, before she read the first line, which
was. "Mark was a vampire with a difference, and what a different. Even Nick
noticed, and he as used to *real* generals."

The leader threw the zine in the 'recycle' pile.

"How is the research going?" Mindy asked.

"I didn't realize fan fiction could be this bad." The woman sighed.

"Need some help?"

"Sure, grab a zine." Kat handed her a stack of zines. "Be prepared. It's
bad, real bad."

Mindy opened a zine at random. "Melly Ann was the youngest ever detective
on the Toronto police force. She had turned sixteen the day before she had
been assigned to be Nick Knights partner. She didn't' feel bad that he had
to break apart Nick and Tracey, since Tracey was her very bestest friend in
the whole world."

"Hi! MellyAnn!" Nick said, bopping into the precent. "It's been four days
since I've been a human, and I feel great!"

"Are we going to invite everyone to our wedding?"

"I thought we could have a triple wedding! Natalie's marrying Vachon!
Tracey's marrying Stonetree."

"LaCrow could be our preacher!" Tracey gushed.

Mindy closed the zine. "Who wrote this?"

"Look at the cover."

"MellyAnn Knight?" Mindy couldn't believe what she was reading. "She wrote
herself into this story."

"It gets worse. Much worse." Katrinka patted a pile of zines. All of these
zines have one thing in common, all are written by writers who have made
the main character in the image of themselves."

"They write themselves?"

"It gets better. They write as perfect of an image as they can give. They
make themselves even better then real life."

"Why would they do that?"

"Cause they all want Nick." Katrinka sighed, "Except for those who want
someone else."

"What on earth does this have to do with finding the reason?"

"All the Forever Knight characters are really out of character in these
*stories*." Katrinka explained. "But it gets worse, by adding a new
character, the writer changes the fan fiction universe."

"It's not real." Mindy reminder her.

"But what if the writer could make it real? What if by writing the very
words, the universe is changed."

"That's insane."

"It's the only thing that makes sense. Bad Fanficing has caused all the
problems we are facing now."

"I'll get Tracey." Mindy went to get the other member of the research party.

Katrinka picked up another zine. This one was by the Biosphere scientist!
"The Land Of Fiction.  By M. Sue Scientist."

A few moments passed. Tracey joined the group. "What did you find?"

"Bad fan fiction. Really bad fan fiction." The leader said solemnly.

"Bad fiction is everywhere." Tracey reminded her.

"What I found was the worst." She handed the zine to her friend. "This is
the worst piece of drek I've ever read. This woman creates an entire land
of fiction, where she can change reality!"

Tracey opened the zine and began to read. After a few pages, she nodded her
head. "I think your right."


Katrinka@flash.net
AIM KatrinkaKnighties
Acting Leader of the Knighties