War:  Cousins:  Spoonerisms Cake The Take  (2/2)

by Cousine Celeste

Appearances by Cousins Tser, Tok, Will, and Bree, with thanks.

The Raven party
July 6,  a little past 7pm

 From the “FK War Can Be Fun… and Educational!” chapter of “FK War for
Dummies”:
“The Reverend William Archibald Spooner was renowned for his amusing verbal
slips, so much so that today such linguistic accidents are known as
Spoonerisms.”


A strained voice spoke to the left of the Cousine, saying, “Do you know how
to make a Zombie Beachcomber?”

The Cousine glanced over at the familiar voice to see a determined-looking
blonde woman in a sharp silk blouse and slacks combo (black, of course),
her hair in a long braid, dangly silver earrings shimmering in the Raven
mood-lighting.  “Cousin Tok!  Of course Miklos knows how to make Zombie
Beachcombers!  This is one of McLisa’s hang-outs.”

Tser was draped casually against the bar on the other side of Tok, quietly
watching the crowd and occasionally taking a sip of her drink.  “Hey!” she
said in greeting.

“Hey, yourself!  If one member of Cerberus is Cerberi, what are two members
of Cerberus?”

“Weirded out and annoyed, mostly.”

“Been there.  Done that.  Bought the tee-shirt.  Where’s The Man?”

Tser tilted her chin across the room, pointing out where LaCroix sat,
surrounded by Cousins, without seeming to point.  “He’s quiet just now, but
he scares me.  We caught him… munching *rats*!”

“Oh, man.  That is just so wrong on so many levels.  What are we gonna do?”

Tser sipped her drink again.  “I don’t know,” she enunciated carefully when
she surfaced.

Cousin Bree bounced up to the bar in that moment.  “Hi, all!” the Bratly
Cousin smiled at Tser, Tok, Will, and The Cousine, her burgundy hair
clashing nicely with Tser’s darker purple/black ‘do.

The black-clad Cousins raised their eyebrows at her en masse.  Bree was a
vision in pure white, long linen skirt and matching blouse.  The Brat was
obviously a Cousin with a difference.  “Hi, Breeeee!” they chorused morosely.

“What’samatter with you guys? Isn’t this party fantastic? I’ll have a small
glass of white wine,” the last comment was directed at Miklos, who obliged
the Bratly Cousin with a champagne flute of the house white. “Are you
feeling better, Celeste?  You seemed a little shaky before.”

The Cousine held out one hand.  “Ready as a stock,” she said.  “…um, I mean
‘steady as a rock.’”

Tok regarded the Cousine with a suspicious eye.  “You appear to be flipping
your consonants in a sort of Spooneristic fashion, my friend.”

“She’s been doing that since I got here,” said Will.

“I wonder if it’s a side-effect phenomenon related to the flipping of
personalities that appears to be going on,” Tser followed up, going into
one of her scientific flights of fancy.

The Cousine was embarrassed at the close beady-eyed regard of her fellow
Cousins and attempted to change the subject. “Speaking of flipping, did you
hear that McLisa became a Ratsipated Screed-follower?  Do you think she did
it because she heard LaCroix turn into Screed, and the shock caused her to
lose her mind?”

“I suspect that train left the station a lot sooner than last night’s
Nightsqueaker radio show,” said Tok.  The other Cousins nodded
sagely.  McLisa was an embarrassment, but a well-loved embarrassment, to
the Cousins and it kinda hurt that she’d turned Ratsie tail on them all.

The Cousine decisively put her empty glass down on the bar. “Well… I think
I should go find her and make sure she doesn’t accidentally kill
herself.  I mean, she must have gone through at least eight of her nine
lives at this point.”  She slipped into the crowd, looking for the patch of
weirdness that would undoubtedly contain her friend McLisa.

Will nodded.  “These songs are boring.  I’m gonna try to get some Nine Inch
Nails going.”  He drifted away in the general direction of the DJ table.

The Two Heads of Cerberus glanced at one another and shrugged.  “What do
you think?” said Tok.

“I guess we should go over and ‘observe’ The General for a while,” answered
Tser.  They threaded through the crowd in the direction of LaCroix.

Cousin Bree turned from the bar where she’d been flirting with Miklos to
see that she was alone.  “Was it something I said?” she called after her
departing fellow-Cousins.


To be continued when the Emer'gen-C vitamin-pack truly kicks in....  in "I
Hates Meeses To Pieces"

Cousine Celeste and Gozer the Gozarian
gozer@channel1.com