Title: The Sweet Smell of Revenge (1/1) Authors: Cousin Shelley, Arletta Asbury, and Cousin Tserisa Time: Sunday, Lunch Time at the UF Mansion Right after "The Smell of Preparation (1/1)" Date: July 8th, 2001 Disclaimers: All participants used with permission. Perry dognapped with permission of the UF. No animals were harmed in the writing of this post. "Okay, Brandi, it's up to you," said Arletta inside Shelley's van. They were parked outside of the UF mansion, cargo in the back seat, Hazmat suits on and ready. Brandi got out of the van, removed her Hazmat helmet and tucked it under her arm, then put on her best 'I'm just trying to help you' look and headed for the front door. Ringing the bell, she waited, smile frozen on her face. "Hello? Can I help you?" Jules said, opening the door with her beer in hand. It had been a long day already, and she hoped this didn't mean one more headache. Looking at the woman standing at the door, she gawked at the Hazmat suit. "Well, actually, I'm here to help you," Brandi replied, looking extremely innocent. She smiled again, and stuck out her hand. "I'm from the Department of Hazardous Detections of Toronto and we're here to inspect your dwelling. You're past due for your inspection by 1 year, 2 months, and 16 days, but I'm *sure* that was just an oversight," she smiled again. "I-I-I don't know about any inspections," said Jules, a confused look on her face. "Just as I suspected, a mere oversight!" Brandi exclaimed, slightly too enthusiastically. "But, don't you worry about a thing, give us an hour uninterrupted, and we'll have you all set until next year." Brandi waved wildly to her fellow Cousins and they, all wearing their Hazmat suits, grabbed the large canvas bags of supplies, three cat carriers, and pushed into the UF headquarters. "Waaaaiiiiitttt," protested Jules, only to be trapped behind the door as the assorted Cousins filed inside. Staring at the strangely garbed intruders, she finally decided to make a strategic withdrawal to the nether regions of the UF mansion. ---------++++++++*********++++++++--------- Once inside the big room with the bar, the Cousins went to work. Brandi dug out a can of black glossy paint from one of the canvas bags, along with a large paint roller and pan. Pouring in the paint, she got to work transforming all the walls and the ceiling in the room black except for a large stripe down the center. Rhonda was filling in the stripe with white paint. On one wall, Deborah was sketching out a huge mural of skunks for the UF'ers to enjoy. Being a new Cousin, she was happy one of her talents could be used so quickly. "Now, what should I have the skunks doing?" she thought to herself. Giggling at her first idea, she decided it was not the best for a PG-13 audience. "I know! I'll make their faces look like Nick and LaCroix!" she exclaimed, and happily got to work on her masterpiece. Arletta and Shelley got to work behind the bar, searching through the bottles for a particular type. "I think this is one," Shelley said, holding up a bottle of Merlot. "Great," said Arletta, as she opened it up and began to exchange the contents with the Ribena she had brought. During this time, Tser first tended to the three cat carriers that were serving as cages. Placed VERY carefully into the middle of the room, the other Cousin's were obviously avoiding them but Tser was happily sticking her hands inside and stroking the inhabitants to soothe them. Satisfied that all was well, she began whistling softly to summon Perry, the object of this mission. "Here, Perry, good boy! Good dog!" Finally the Golden Retriever bounded into the room his tail wagging slowly. Tser began to pet Perry behind the ears. As she did, his tail wagged faster and he visibly relaxed. Leaning down into his ear, Tser quickly explained their intentions, hoping the vampire dog would understand. Perry wagged his tail at the end of the conversation, and seemed to be eager to help the Cousins. After an hour or so, the six Cousins stepped back to admire their work. The transformation was amazing. The walls and ceilings now were all black, with a distinctive white stripe down the center, calling to mind a particular animal. All of the bottles labeled Merlot had been transformed to contain Ribena. And the mural on the one wall was truly a masterpiece. Two large skunks each bore a likeness of Nick and LaCroix. LaCroix-Skunk was biting the neck of a poor hapless squirrel, while Nick-Skunk looked on aghast. A true work of art. The Cousins packed up their supplies and prepared to leave. They smiled as they put their Hazmat helmets back on. As the others edged towards the door, Tser opened the three cat carriers and two black animals with white stripes down their backs (skunks) scurried out and immediately began to explore the UF HQ. The last skunk, a small spotted one, chose to stay and admire the newly decorated room. "Thank you, my mustelid friends," Tser said sincerely, and patted the spotted one on its head. It stamped its forepaws playfully and toddled off. "Let's get out of here!" said Rhonda. The rest agreed and hastily made their way towards the exit, supplies and empty cages in hand. ---------++++++++*********++++++++--------- Riding in the front passenger seat of the van beside Shelley who was driving, Arletta noticed a gray patch on the floor nearly hidden by the seat. When she bent down and retrieved it she discovered the missing card. "Uhhh Shelley, *maybe* the UF'er didn't take anything out of your purse after all." *******************