Revenge is a Dish Best Served with Feta Cheese (01/01) Time: Before and During the party at the Raven, 7/6/01 By Cousins Maria and Talon Our gratitude to Felicia of the Vaqueras and Cindy of the Fod's. Disclaimer: Only one rat was harmed in this post. It may have died a year ago. Any nibble marks on it are a matter of pure subjecture. Wasn't us, we swear. Summary: It would appear that someone has done something to a few of the Vaqueras' motorcycles during the party at the Raven... People are such savages. ************************************************* (That afternoon) Cousin Maria left The Happy Souvlaki Deli with her substantial load of takeout. "Talon's Lincoln is going to smell for a week," thought Maria as she eased the gas guzzling taxicab into drive. "Serves him right for owning this giant panda - looking beast of a car." ************************************************* Meanwhile, Talon, deep in the dungeons beneath CERK, approached his prey . . . Even though the object of his search was quite still - dead still in fact - he still felt a little like the Crocodile Hunter: "Todayee we are on the troyul of the phosphorescent pink rat. Croikee! Heeyuh's a beauteeful specimen!" Talon reached the metal tongs down to the floor. There lie the fairly well preserved remains of a faintly glowing pink rat. The nibble marks upon it's poor body may or may not have been recent. The half-life of a phosphorescent rat being what it is... "Into the baggie you go, little friend", said Talon in brief eulogy. A quick application of the yellow-and-blue-makes-green rule and Voila! Rat in the bag! (Although yellow, blue, and green were hard to see amidst the glowing pink. Better double bag it to be sure...) ************************************************* (Later that night, at the Raven.) Talon parked the black and white taxi a block or so away, and around a corner, from the Raven. Going to the passenger side, he opened the door for Maria. Maria was wearing a long black dress. A silver scarf accentuated her decolletage, or perhaps it served as a reminder to errant vampires. At the Raven, one can never be too careful. Talon was wearing Armani, black of course - on black. A long white claw on a necklace which dangled just under his collarless collar broke the monotony of the black. "Appearances are oh so important, eh Talon?" quipped Maria. **************************************************** The Raven was breathtaking. One rarely expects less of Jeannette and her following. Still, the opening party is a high occasion. Jeannette out did herself. Maria and Talon made their way to the bar. Many were in attendance already, however, the Vaqueros had yet to arrive. "Two strawberry margaritas, one salt, one without, please", whispered Talon. "Frozen? Of course. As if you had to ask." The lobster stuffed mushrooms were delicious. ************************************************* Maria and Talon glided into seats in a location where they could make out the door, between partygoers. Talon flicked an idle confetti moon at no one in particular. "Getting nervous, Agent Talon?", whispered Maria. "Now that you mention it", answered Talon. "When will Vachon arrive? Do you suppose he isn't coming?" "Relax, he'll be here. He wouldn't miss it." Talon looked wistfully at his empty tiramisu goblet, "You know, Uncle's possession by Screed . . . you don't suppose?" Talon's question was interrupted my the unmistakable sounds of several motorcycles pulling up outside. Maria smiled, "Wait five minutes, then we will leave through a back entrance. ******************************************************* And through the Raven's delivery doors went Maria and Talon, stealthfully making their way back to his parked cab. Within the trunk awaited their noisome burdens. The double-bagged, phosphorescent rat corpse was mildly offensive, but mix that with a huge bag of assorted takeout items from The Happy Souvlaki Deli and you have an odor that would prove a match for a gallon of Febreze. The sneaky twosome slid into long latex gloves, shouldered their respective bags, and slinked to the parked motorcycles. "Hurry up with that disgusting pink thingy and help me with this food!" whispered Maria. "You wanna switch?" Talon replied. ******************************************************* And suddenly there it was, the Triumph. Truly it was a screamin' fine ride. Hesitating only for a moment, Talon proceeded to take out some tongs and the rat. Quickly the rat was inserted into an exhaust pipe of the Triumph. No part of the dead squeeker was permitted to stick out. Only by looking pretty much into the pipe could one discern a faint pink glow. "That ought to do it", whispered Talon. Meanwhile, Maria was busy dumping Moussaka onto a couple of motorcycles. An gyro here and there along the handlebars provided a greasy decoration. And for the Triumph's seat . . . a large side order of feta cheese. "What happened to the souvlaki?" chided Talon. "Well . . . one mustn't plan revenge on an empty stomach!" replied a slightly blushing Maria. The two then dumped the remainders of the takeout onto the Vaqueras' motorcycles, making sure to include several incriminating boxes and napkins clearly marked 'The Happy Souvlaki Deli' ***************************************************** Only a few minutes later and Talon, arm in arm with Maria, walked from the Raven's back rooms. Did a few heads turn? Probably. Let then think what they will. They returned to the bar, a second round was highly appropriate. Two strawberry margaritas later, Maria looks over to Talon, saying, "Now this is what I call a party." Talon grinned smugly. "Would you like to dance?" "I thought you would never ask." ******