Title: Mission Souvlaki (2/2) Authors: Cousin Shelley and Arletta Asbury Faction: Cousins Time: Late Afternoon Date: Friday, July 13, 2001 After "Mission Souvlaki (1/2)" Disclaimers: All participants used with permission Jess looked up in time to see three cousins coming through the lobby and stopping. At least she *thought* they were cousins. They were dressed in VERY ill fitted GSS-like uniforms, and carrying an assortment of guns ... dripping a gooey red stuff. "Got the ribena-filled water pistols?" Shelley asked. "Check." "Got the vitamin tester fluid?" "Check." "Got the credit card?" "SHELLEY!" Both Brandi and Arletta chorused. "Okay, okay, I guess we're ready then." "Just one more thing," replied Arletta, sticking a yellow post-it note to Jess' computer. "EEEEEEKKKKKK!" She cried in alarm, then hid under the desk. Shelley, Arletta, and Brandi tried their best to look like a GSS attack force as they exited CERK. From the snickers and stares they were getting, it wasn't working well. Brandi had such a sweet, innocent looking face that she didn't quite have the look of a member of that elite force. Neither did the other two who were ... ah ... somewhat 'out of condition' shall we say, one of them also using a cane. ------------------------------------- Circling around to the back of the Happy Souvlaki Deli, the three member attack team crouched down. Or, tried to crouch down anyway. "Owwww, my back hurts doing that," complained Shelley. "Mine too," Arletta chimed in. "And this uniform is way too small!" "Mine's too big," whined Brandi. The other two glared at her. Just then, the back door swung open and someone wearing a chef's hat and carrying garbage walked out headed towards the dumpster. "There she is!" The three tried to sneak up on her. However, Shelley's cane was thumping the ground as she walked, and Brandi was still complaining about how big her uniform was. "Can I help you?" the cook asked the trio. "Ummmmm, yes ... in a minute ... just hang on a sec ...." Shelley said, struggling to get her water pistol out. Finally, she managed to get it. "Ah HA!" She cried, triumphantly. "This is a stick up! Uhhh, no. I mean, we want your tofu. No, that's not right either ...." Arletta sighed. Shelley got way too enthusiastic on attacks and lost all her mental capacity. "Give us the secret formula!" Brandi demanded, in her best imitation of a GSS agent. "Huh?" said Spiff, confused. "We want the recipe for garlic-free tofu souvlaki ... please?" Arletta explained. "Uhhhh, well, I actually can't tell you. It's Deli policy," replied Spifff to the oddly clad women in front of her. She was beginning to worry about their mental health. Especially the blonde one. Waving her water pistol at the cook, Shelley said "Let's go inside and *talk* ... or I'll shoot!" Spifff looked at the gun. The seams where the plastic had been molded together were clearly visible. So was the thick red stuff oozing from the muzzle. Her first impulse was to laugh, but seeing the maniacal look on Shelley's face, she decided she'd better go along with them. Who knew how dangerous they really were? "Uh, okay," she replied, heading towards the back door. Entering the Deli's kitchen area, Brandi surveyed the room. "I think, if we set up over there, no one will be able to see us if they glance in," she suggested. "Good idea," Arletta said, heading to the spot Brandi had indicated. Then Shelley went to work interrogating the prisoner. Well, not exactly prisoner, but unhappy FoD surrounded by lunatics. It amounted to the same thing. "What is the first ingredient?" "For what?" "Don't play games, I have a cane and I know how to use it!" Shelley brandished her cane and tried to make thwacking sounds with her mouth. "Don't get excited," Spifff replied, trying to calm the crazy blonde. "Uhhh, maybe you should take your medication now?" she suggested helpfully. "This isn't working," Shelley whined to Arletta. Brandi smiled and said "Let me try. We need the ingredients, one by one. If you won't give them to us, I'll turn Shelley here loose on you." "NO! Please!" Spifff said nervously. "I'll tell! I'll tell! What ever you want. Just keep her away from me." "Great! First one?" Arletta asked brightly. "What was it you wanted again?" "GARLIC-FREE TOFU SOUVLAKI!" "Oh. Tofu, of course." "Shelley, go find the tofu and test it." "Awwwww ... I wanted to interrogate more ...." "TOFU!" Reluctantly, Shelley wandered around in the kitchen until she found the vat of tofu. Being a little upset at not being allowed to interrogate, she dropped testing solution into the vat, turning the entire supply bright orange. "Nope, not it," she called out. "Next ingredient?" Brandi smiled innocently. "Or she comes back!" "N-n-no need for that! Next we marinade the tofu in a soy sauce mixture." "Try the soy sauce." Shelley found a small bottle of soy sauce and tested it. The contents turned neon pink. Looking around, she saw a huge bucket of it. She smiled as she added just enough to give the Happy Souvlaki neon pink soy sauce for the rest of the war. "Nope," she yelled, "try again!" While waiting for the next ingredient, Shelley decided to experiment a bit. She dropped testing liquid in some different ingredients she found all through the kitchen. The flour was now purple, the sugar electric yellow. Breads turned various shades of red, the salt was green, and the garlic was now glowing chartreuse. Shelley giggled hysterically. "Try asafetida next," Arletta called out. "As-a-fet-ida's?" "No, asafetida! It's a spice! Yellow in color, smells like a really, really strong onion." Shelley roamed through the jars of spices looking for the described one. Finally, opening a jar towards the end, a strong odor hit her like a brick wall. "I think I found it ." Pulling out the tester, she carefully put a few drops in, praying this would be over soon so she could put the lid back on. This stuff was STRONG. It was also blue. Electric blue. "We got it!" she yelled. Arletta came over and checked for herself. The asafetida was indeed a bright electric blue, and smelled just like she remembered it smelling . "Great!" she said happily, "get all of it you can find and we're out of here!" "But I didn't even get to tie anyone up!" moaned Shelley. "There's always next war," Arletta said, patronizing her. Gathering up all of the spice they could find, the women were preparing to leave ... much to Spifff's relief. Just before they left, Shelley began sprinkling the tester fluid over everything in sight. Colors began to appear in the strangest places. "Shelley, what are you doing?" Arletta asked, wondering if she should just run the other direction instead. "I'm brightening things up! Aren't the colors pretty?" "Ummmm, yeah. Let's go back and take a nice long rest now, okay?" Arletta and Brandi looked at each other with knowing glances and each took one of Shelley's arms and half dragged her out the back door. As soon as they had left, Spifff ran into the other part of the deli calling out "Hey! I just had the strangest thing happen!"