Continued from part 2/3. * * * * * "I'll let the new Receptionist know to contact the janitorial union about Shelley's new appointment," Tok said to Tser as they walked into the lobby. "That is, if the Receptionist hasn't run off to join the circus." The two stared at the empty station, the office chair where said Receptionist was supposed to be sitting tipped on it's side. "I *was* hoping she'd last at least more than twenty-four hours," Tser said, and sighed. "We didn't even do anything to her yet," Tok said, a confused look settling on her features. "Hey, look, it's Moses!" Tser said and went over to say hi to the wayward she-iguana. "Where've you been?" she asked the lizard. "The Battle Yak has been staring for you." But the reptilian Cousine was glaring at the slightly open oaken door that led down into the dungeon. Tser straightened and looked towards Tok. "What do you suppose is up?" Tok asked as she moved towards the door and pushed it open further. Moses glared into the darkness. "Ghosts?" Tser asked uneasily, backing away. "Don't be silly, CERK isn't haunted. 'A ghost is an hallucination of some famous regret, no more,'" Tok quoted, and grabbed ahold of Tser's wide black bell sleeve. "C'mon, let's go investigate." "If there aren't any ghosts," Tser protested, "why do you need *me* to go? I'm through with dark places!" Tok gave a definitive tug and Tser followed her down the wide stone steps into the dungeon reluctantly. They could hear a maniacal laugh drifting up through the darkness. "Let's go back!" Tser hissed. Tok gave her a glare that pierced even the gloom, and Tser grunted, continuing on. Soon they could hear the faint strains of a one-sided conversation. "... not owe it to the elevators. This is nothing... NOTHING compared to carouche-Vachons trying to eat your pet guinea pig! Cockroach. Nibbling in my... oh.... You will suffer, as I have suffered at the stickiness of post-its! You cannot squidge your way out of this one!" "It's Jessi!" Tok exclaimed in a whisper to Tser. "I thought she was safely locked up in the Padded Cell!" "She was!" Tser answered. "You put her in?" Tok asked. "Well... I had Will do it." "She's your responsibility!" Tok scolded. "Why me??" Tser asked. "She's *your* sister!" "Ugh! Ever since that's become common knowledge... look, I'm *not* my sister's keeper!" "*You're* the one that drove her insane," Tok pointed out. Tser paused. "But... she was the Receptionist. I had to." "Come on!" Tok said, and pulled on Tser's sleeve again. "We have to catch her and wrangle her back to the cell." They crouched behind the stone wall, peering around the corner at the ex-Cousinly Receptionist, who was pacing and squeeking Spooky occasionally, muttering about butter, spurs and the social infrastruction of Tajikistan. "You run up and grab her from behind, I'll get the squeeky toy," Cousin Tok whispered. "No, you grab her, I'll hide here," Tser replied. Tok frowned, got behind Tser, and pushed. "Go!" Tser stumbled into the candlelight, and Jess spun around. "Ah, Mighty Mohawked Woman! So we meet again," Jess said in her best villain voice. Tser groaned. "Jess, what're you doing? It's time for all good little children to be in their padded cells." "I'm not Jess," Jess said, "I'm the Post-It Note Avenger!" Tser rocked back on her heels and blinked at her sister, then sighed. "C'mon, I'm not really in the mood to deal with you being batty." "Cousinly Leader Tserisa, is that you?" a voice asked from one of the cells. Tser glanced over at the cell, then at Jess. "What'd you do this time?" she asked. By this time, Tok had emerged from the darkness and was eyeing the nutty postitphobe warily. The two Leaders walked over to the cell, careful not to take their eyes off Jess, and peered inside. Bonnie, straw stuck in her curly hair, hopped up from her seat on the bench gratefully, but then seemed to hesitate and didn't get too close. "It's all right," Tok said. "We have no intention of keeping you locked down here." Bonnie breathed a sigh of relief as Tser pulled out the dungeon key she kept on a black ribbon around her neck. She held the huge metal key near the lock, but paused as she felt Tok's stare. "What?" They opened the door, and Bonnie stumbled out, looking relieved. Tser put the key back around her neck and tucked it under her blouse. "Let's get out of here," Tok said. Bonnie didn't move, standing so that that Cerberus were between her and Jess. "Don't worry," Tser said, taking Jess by the hand and starting to lead her up the dungeon steps. "She's harmless." "Harmless?" Bonnie asked. "Harmless? She knocked me out and locked me in the dungeon!" The Leaders gave her blank stares. Jess giggled maniacally and squeeked her Spooky Squeeky Toy [TM] at her. As they emerged from the dungeon into the light of the lobby, Tok closed the door behind her. They blinked and let their eyes adjust to the brightness. "You take Jess back to the Padded Cell," she told Tser, "and Bonnie, I have a few new errands and phone calls for you to make." Bonnie took a deep breath. She'd just been rescued from certain death by squeeking and already they wanted her back on the job. As Tser led Jess away, Tok was dictating to Bonns, who was scribbling furiously to get it down on post-it. "And after you fill out the forms for that, send out notes to all the Cousins telling them about the flights home that have been arranged. Then call the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health -- I'm sure they're in the phone book, they're on Russet St. and affiliated with the University of Toronto. Have Jess committed... they can come pick her up," Tok instructed. "Who knows! She might even be well enough to be released by next War!" Bonnie nodded, slightly dazed. Tok turned at started to return to her office. "Eeek!" Tok spun around to see a very alarmed looking Bonnie. "What?" "A velociraptor!" Bonnie said, and pointed. "Oh. That's just Cousine Moses," Tok assured her. Bonnie sat behind her desk, shakily, and clutched a post-it note to her chest. At least her post-its were reliable, ever-faithful, and sticky. Tser met up with Tok in the hall, a bemused look on her face. "I ran into Deborah," she said. "I couldn't stop because I had the Ever-Squeeky Jess in tow, but she was huddled over a beaded peach... y'know, those kinds you get in craft stores... and weeping." "Did she say what was wrong?" Tok asked. "It was hard to hear her over Jess' rendition of the Presidents' 'Peaches', but I think she was saying something about never getting to see the Shrine," Tser said. "Ooohhh," Tok said knowingly. "Yeah, the Nunkies Anonymous Shrine went kablooie some time during the FoD's party." "Shrine... kablooie?" Tser repeated softly. "Yeah," Tok said, nodding. "I've got to go track down Gandalf and convince him watery tomato baths are a *good* thing. Excuse me." Tser stood there, shocked. After a few minutes, she dug out her cell phone, intent to call the Shrine and ask after Cousin Gwen. She then realized there *was* no Shrine to call, so she dialed up an addict's cell phone number instead. # # # End, What Cousins Do Best. -- Cousin Tserisa & the Cousinly Critters - headpigeons@hotmail.com - Cousin, Ratpacker 8:>X and CaddyWhack FK Stuff: http://geocities.com/tserisa/ CaddyWhacks: http://velvetdragon.com/caddy/