Continued from part 1/3. * * * * * "Um...," Tok managed. "Not exactly," Tser added. "*How* not exactly?" "She talked to Jess," Tok explained. "And then Jess reported it at our group meeting, but you and Nick had already switched." "So it's not like we tried to hide it from you," Tser added quickly. "But everything was so crazy...." "We took the card away from her," Tok said. "Then how, pray tell, did all these charges get on it *after* that date? Were *you two* also using it?" he said with a sneer as he glared at the two heads of Cerberus. "No sir!" Tok replied. "Return it to me now." Lacroix held out his hand. "But we --" Tser said before Tok elbowed her. "Eeeep," Shelley squeeked out, looking very pale. She fumbled the grey card out of her pocket and tried to hand it to Lacroix, but it fluttered out of her trembling hand and bounced on the floor. He scooped it up and placed it on his desk. Then he fixed his gaze on the two heads of Cerberus. "You gave it *back* to her?" LaCroix asked lowly. "They were working on the vitamin U thing," Tser hurried to explain. "They needed supplies. The so-fetid-stuff... it did turn out to be important... y'know, at the FoD party...." "We didn't authorize her to do anything else," Tok squeaked. Lacroix held up his hand to stop the flood of excuses. "Shelley, you ran up a truly amazing total. Some of this, I can excuse. The rest, however, is your responsibility. How do you propose to pay me back?" He folded his arms across his chest and waited. Shelley got even more pale at the prospect of paying the total back. Mentally, she tried to calculate just the cost of the limo, broken up into monthly payments. The amount staggered the mind. "P-pay you back?" she stammered out. LaCroix just glared and waited for an answer. "I could work it off, I suppose. Just, please, don't make me the Cousinly Receptionist? Show me *some* mercy?" she shot a glance at the Cousinly Receptionist Tormenter, Tser. "I shall have to study the figures to come up with the final amount. It will be substantial." "We could use a janitor," Tser suggested. Unless one was looking, one couldn't even detect the fiendish evil light in the Cousinly Leader's green eyes. "I'm sure LaCroix and the other radio hosts would have plenty for you to do," Tok agreed. "This is a big office building, lots to clean." "I... I hate cleaning," Shelley whimpered. "So many bathrooms," Tok said. "And kitchens." "I'm sure the interns will be grateful to have someone to call if there's a mess," Tser said, and she did allow some of the Cousinly evil to show on her face. "And the Cousinly Receptionist will have work for you as well, of course. She has a habit of tossing crumpled paper across the lobby." "No...," Shelley said, her eyes wide, and she took an involuntary step back. "I'd be... *beneath* the *Receptionist*?" "And there's all that stuff the GSS left in the dungeon," Tok continued, grateful the heat was on somebody else. "It really ought to be inventoried, so we know what's down there." "And what happened to Bob, anyway? He was supposed to be here," Tser wondered. "I swear I saw a glimpse of him before everything hit the fan," Tok said. "You could look for him while you're down there." "But I'll be down there until the *next* War," Shelley wailed. "At least," Tser agreed. "Could be worse," Tok told her. "At least you're not glued into a cow suit." * * * * * Continued from part 1/2. The Cousinly Receptionist-in-training coughed and sat up, rubbing her head. Had she been unconscious? She looked around in confusion. Where was she? Had the Cousins been attacked? Was she taken prisoner? Bonnie found herself sitting on a cold stone floor on a scant and scattered pile of straw. Behind her, there was a wooden bench affixed at about knee level. It was dark, but she could make out from the faint flickering light that she was in a tiny room, perhaps only five feet by six, with walls made of huge stone blocks. The faint scent of candle smoke and melting wax reached her nose. In front of her, there was a thick wood and wrought iron door. Standing off, fighting a wave of dizziness, she tottered towards it and tried to force it open. It didn't move. A little higher than eye level there was a metal grating, and she stood on her tip-toes to look out. A pair of deranged blue eyes stared back. The new Receptionist yelped and lept back. "I'm... I'm stuck in here," she said hopefully, trying to swallow her unease. "Could you let me out?" "Eeeeeevil," the owner of the blue eyes said in a hissy voice. "Pardon?" Bonnie asked, looking around the cell for another way out -- no luck. The walls were solid stone. "You touched Spooky. You will pay," the voice said lowly, and the eyes narrowed. "Post-it Noting Matron of Repugnance." Bonnie's eyes widened. She recognized the voice and those eyes now -- it was Jess, the Cousinly Receptionist come before her. "Doom, doom, doom," Jess was saying, and had begun to pace outside the cell door. "Doom, doom, doom, doom." "I'm sorry," Bonnie tried, standing up again to go near the door. "I didn't mean to take your job... you... you can have it back." "I will bite you!" Jess exclaimed as she neared the tiny barred window, showing her teeth. "Bite your face! Taint your noodles as you mock me with your flouride-freshened breath." Bonnie backed away and sighed. It was no use negotiating with mad people. * * * * * Bonnie had been sitting on the hard wooden bench in the dark for what seemed like hours as the Ever-Squeeky Jess paced outside, babbling nonsense and ranting about post-it notes. The Cousins were insane, the lot of them, even if they didn't all go around squeezing plastic skeleton squeeky toys and mumbling, "The world was created in a flutter of post-it notes and tofu souvlaki. A great squeek rent the day from the night and Spooky was unleashed upon the earth! And you, you gullible non-Cousin Cousinly Receptionist, you *touched* *him*!" Yes, Bonnie knew they were crazy, even though they didn't all act like Jessi. She knew this because they had a dungeon. The dungeon she was locked in. This hadn't been on the tour when Tserisa showed her around her new digs. (What else had the mohawked Cousinly Leader neglected to show her?) Actually, Bonnie could see that such a setup could come in handy during the War. However, it seemed so out of place. The archaic stone structure sat beneath the CERK office building, cold and damp, lit only by wax tapers. The only sign of modern influence was the sound of air being circulated by some sort of fan or duct. For all the state-of-the-art fine technology upstairs, they used *candles* to light the dungeon. It was impractical and hard on the eyes. Maybe this part of the Cousinly HQ had been neglected for the modern conveniences of the offices, and upgrades, such as a proper lighting system, had been forgotten. Bonnie turned the idea over in her mind as she sat listening to Jess' demented soliloquies. "Obviously someone's overlooked something," Bonnie said to herself, trying to find a comfortable position on the hard bench. "If I ever get out of here, I'll help out! I can install flourescent lights. That'd show LaCroix and the saner of the Cousins that I want to help and can be useful... well, beyond my mad post-it noting skills." There was a squeal from Jess at the words "post-it" and she peered in the window at the Bonnie non-llama. "What're you doing, talking to yourself?" the ex-Receptionist asked the Receptionist-in-training. "You sound nutty!" Bonnie sighed. *If* she ever got out of there. "I'll triple-dog doom you!" Jess declared. "Frizzle you with my eye-zappy powers. Meow. Fffzt, mmrraawwrrr!" * * * * * Continued in part 3/3. -- Cousin Tserisa & the Cousinly Critters - headpigeons@hotmail.com - Cousin, Ratpacker 8:>X and CaddyWhack FK Stuff: http://geocities.com/tserisa/ CaddyWhacks: http://velvetdragon.com/caddy/