Title: A Chaos of Cousins (1/1)
By Cousin Tserisa (headpigeons@hotmail.com) with input from others Time:
Wednesday Evening
Place: CERK

     * * * * * *

     chaos: (n) 1. a state of utter confusion 2. a congregation
     of Cousins (a herd of deer, an unkindness of Raven(ette)s, a chaos
     of Cousins)

     * * * * * *

A few extra chairs had been added around the large, dark cherry table in the
War Room, and Cousins were gathering.  In an effort to control Cousinly
chaos, Cerberus had called for a traditional Cousinly Meeting to keep the
others apprised of the situation and ask for feedback.

Usually such meetings were held at the beginning of the War, but due to the
shock of hearing Screedspeak on the CERK airwaves, they'd only had an
impromptu and unofficial meeting in the limo returning from the Raven, and
while they were milling about the lobby.  Most of the information the
average Cousin had access to was communicated through a system of post-it
notes at the front desk.

This was not without it's problems, it seemed, as anyone who looked at the
Ever-Squeeky Jess (acting Cousinly Receptionist formerly known as Poe Frog),
could ascertain.  There was a square of yellow paper stuck in her short,
wild brown and blonde hair and her eyes looked half-crazed.

Tok and Tserisa waited as the Cousins drifted in and sat.  Perky Cousin Will
grinned at each Cousin as they entered, dressed in a vertically striped
shirt (definitely not black).  Rhonda (looking much better than when Tser
had encountered her and Vachon-LaCroix in the Salon) sat near the door, as
if ready to escape.    LaCroix sat in a chair near the back of the room, a
pained and distracted look on his face.

"Is everyone here?" Tok asked, standing at the end of the table.  A mental
tally seemed to affirm the fact.  "Good.  As you all know, this is an
official meeting to get everyone up-to-date and develop strategy for the
remainder of the War."

"I'm sure you all know that a very distressing problem has been interferring
with our usual Cousinly Plotting," Tser said, looking over the assembled
faction.  "Although Cousins Shelley and Arletta did organize a very nice
attack on the Unnamed Faction."  She grinned at the two, Cousinly evil
shining in her eyes.  There were several appreciative nods and smiles.

"And don't forget Vachon," Bree said, and giggled.

Tok glanced at LaCroix, but his expression was unreadable.  She turned back
to the other Cousins.  "Which brings us to the issue at hand.  Most of our
effort this War has gone to attempting to solve the enigma of the apparent
personality switches affecting many of our factions' patrons," she said.
"It has been a deplorable situation, touching both humans and vampires.  As
you well know from the notes left at the receptionist's desk --"

Tok as interrupted by a piteous squeek from Jess, who shuddered slightly.

"Or," she continued, glancing over at the Receptionist warily, "from
experience, LaCroix has undergone two such switches.  Once with Screed and
once with Vachon."

"Freakin' weird stuff," Celeste said.  Cousin Stan/Agent Talon, who was
sitting next to her, nodded.

"Our main objective has been to find a reason and a cure," Tser said.
"Jess' idea, that water would initiate a change, proved to be ineffective.
However, Shelley and Arletta have been hard at work and, though we're not
sure, their remedy may have worked."

Tok nodded.  "Vachon and LaCroix switched very quickly after LaCroix
returned to his own body," she pointed out.  "Since trying Shelley and
Arletta's antidote, he's been himself since early Monday."

"And what exactly is this cure?" Cousin Deb asked.

Tser nodded at Shelley, who turned towards the others self-consciously. "Um,
garlic-free tofu souvlaki from the Happy Souvlaki Deli."

Several Cousins thought they heard a grunt from LaCroix, but none would
admit it afterwards. He bowed his head, massaging the bridge of his nose as
if coming down with the start of a migraine.

"It contains vitamin U, a deficiency of which is thought to cause
Personality Switching Disorder," Tserisa said.

"So, it worked?" Brandi asked.

"Let's hope so," Tok said.  "We have no way of knowing for sure."

Jess looked a little disappointed, a slight pout on her lips.

"On to other topics," Tser said, trying not to roll her eyes at the
Receptionist with DieHard tendencies.  "We've all been invited to a birthday
party at the UF's Hive on the 15th."

"That'll be fun!" Shelley said.

"What if they know it was us who attacked them?" Arletta asked.

"How could they?" asked Shelley.  "C'mon, it's a party!  We've been so busy
most of the War, I feel like it's been a whole two weeks already.  It'll be
great to unwind."

Arletta shook her head stubbornly.  "I'm staying here."

Tok cleared her throat.  "We need a restock of the Cousinly Treasure-trove
of Analgesics. Could you take care of that Jess?"

Jess nodded, the post-it note stuck in her hair flapping free and fluttering
to the table.  She let out a shriek and jumped up away from the offending
piece of paper, breathing hard.

The Cousinly Receptionist shook her head and seemed to compose herself.  "I
also ordered black po-- post--"  She cleared her throat. "Some sticky paper
message conveyers in black, and some of those neato red gel pens that write
on black paper."

Tok nodded, appreciative of the Receptionist's office supply savvy.

"Oh... I got a call from some Brenda chick earlier that LaCroix's credit
card was used to charge a large wad --" here she held her hands in a sort of
blob shape and squinted, "of money at some restaurant.  The reciepts were
signed by a certain Cousin Shelley, who shall remain unnamed.  Not the
faction.  Brenda wanted to know, is she authorized?"

Tok frowned and looked over at LaCroix uneasily.  His face was contorted in
a grimace, but she couldn't tell if it was anger or gas.  She turned back to
Shelley.  "We'll talk, after the meeting," she said lowly.

Tserisa cleared her throat.  "Does anyone have anything else to add before
we conclude this meeting?" Cousin Tser asked.

"Umm," LaCroix said, and all the Cousins' eyes were immediately on him.  "I
do," he finished uncertainly.

Tok sat down into her chair heavily.  "Yes, Sir?" she asked tiredly.

"I -- I don't think I'm who you think I am."  His usually fierce blue eyes
were darting over the assembled Cousins almost anxiously.  He'd heard
stories of this group.  Horror stories.  Almost all the Knighties were
convinced of their evil.  He'd even met some of LaCroix's followers in the
past, and he could vouch for their strange and obsessed ways.  His eyes
focused on the woman with the mohawk.  He started to slip into a series of
flashbacks involving marmite baths and stolen donkeys, and was fully under
by the time he got to soggy pink lederhosen and pitchforks.

Celeste noticed the distant look on the General's face and placed the manner
of speaking pretty quickly.  "You're *Nick*, aren't you."

LaCroix looking slightly startled as he emerged from his reverie, then a
guilty look flickered over his face.  "Yes," he admitted.

"I guess the garlic-free tofu souvlaki from the Happy Souvlaki Deli didn't
work after all," Shelley said in a distressed tone.

"Ugh," Nick-in-LaCroix's body said, his face contorting into a grimace.  "I
don't feel so good."

As the Cousins exchanged stunned glances, Nick sprang from his chair and ran
from the room.  Tok called after him helpfully, "You need to activate the
palm reader in the elevator to get to the penthouse."

"Meeting adjourned," Tser announced with a shrug.

# # #

--
Cousin Tserisa & the Cousinly Critters
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